Independence

 Ladies, stop thinking that you “need” a man to validate you.  NEWS FLASH – THIS JUST IN – YOU DON’T!  Today is all about Independence.  Now, don’t get me wrong.  I didn’t say you don’t need a man period; you just need to learn how to depend on them less.  Today’s mentality is every man for himself and GOD for us all, and while none of us should think that way, it is the reality of the land. 

We as women have come so far just within this past century that it is unbelievable.  We have gained the right to vote, we’ve become part of the modern day workforce, and we’ve started to take the role of leadership to new horizons.  We are now empowered and have the freedom to do anything we put our minds to.  Isn’t that awesome?  We can work a full time job, come home and cook a full course meal, take care of the kids, maintain a household, prepare for the next day, and still find time to spend quality time with our significant other.  Tell me that isn’t power. My momma always quoted H. Blaney Giese by saying, “Man works from sun to sun but a woman’s work ain’t never done.”  Believe me, that’s the truth whether you like it or not.   However, today ladies is a new day.  You have the flexibility to do what you want to do and be who you want to be. You have a choice!  While it’s always good to settle down and get married at some point in your life, it’s not always the best decision right off the bat.  A lot of women realize when its to late that they haven’t done all the things that they wanted to do in life and now they are regretful and tend to dwell in the past beating themselves up about things they “should have” done or didn’t get the chance to do.  There are many sacrifices you have to make when you decide to settle down ladies.  Be sure that you are ready before you decide to “settle down”.  Until then:

Find Yourself

Nobody knows you better than you know yourself.  Do what you want to do with your life and don’t let anyone (MAN) get in your way. If you want to take a job in another city, go for it.   If you want to travel and see the world and can afford to do so, go for it.  If you want to go to graduate school after college, go for it.  Whatever you want to do, make sure that you are doing it because you want to.  Sometimes that boyfriend can persuade you to alter your plans because he’s ready to settle down.  That’s BULL!  If he took the opportunity to find himself, why can’t you?  And never let him tell you any differently.

Be Independent

Live on your own.  Get a Job.  Buy your own house (or pay your own rent).  Take sole proprietorship and establish YOU.  When I say live on your own, I mean just that.  If you like for your boyfriend to stay over every now and then that’s fine however, don’t let him move in.  You need your own space!  Once you let him in, he’ll be screening your phone calls and analyzing your friends, giving you demands, and telling you his likes and dislikes.   You don’t need that.  If you pay the cost to be the boss then he has NOTHING to say.  Let it stay that way until you are ready to get serious.  Until then, keep him on a need to know basis.   

Make Some Mistakes

In life, we all make mistakes however, those mistakes are what make us grow and become better people.  You can’t find yourself until you have made a mistake, two, three, or a dozen.  It happens.  A lot of us think that after college and that good job we’ve landed we should run out, get married, and start a family.  For some that might work and if that’s what you choose to do, GO FOR IT, (however I’d strongly advise against it)!  Just make sure you know what you are getting into before you step out into that water.  If you don’t, you’re bound to drown.  My advice to you though is to RUN LIKE HELL in the other direction (LOL) at least for a few years until you have made sure you’ve done everything you want to do.

Be Footloose and Fancy Free

Go and come as you please!  Do what you want to do and say what you want to say (as long as it is decent and in inline with GOD).  Don’t settle for anything less than the BEST that life has to offer.  This is your time to shine.  Follow your dreams honey.  It’s hard to catch them once you are in a serious committed relationship.

The bottom line ladies is do what you have to do to make yourself happy.  The only person you should put first in your life ALWAYS is GOD.  Everything else will fall into place after that.  Just be careful, make wise and smart decisions, and manage your money.  If your man is giving you negative vibes about anything that you are feeling positive about, check yourself first, then check him at the door.  Never let anyone talk you out of following your hopes and dreams.

© 2008 All Rights Reserved

Mahogany on the Real – Volume 3

Mahoganyonthereal’s Weblog

Mahoganyonthereal’s Weblog

Check out Poetess Mahogany’s newest web blog, Mahogany on the Real.  This is a blog where she gives you her opinion on just about anything and everything no matter what the subject.  She calls it, “Calling It Like I See It.”  Mahogany feels like in today’s society to many people feel the urge to bite their tongues.  Honey please, SUPPRESS THAT URGE! The more you stay quiet the less you will be heard.  Mahogany on the Real is her way of Telling it like it T.I.S, whether you like it or not.   If you agree to disagree, she more than welcomes your rebuttals.  

http://mahoganyonthereal.wordpress.com/

Got an issue you want her to address?  Feel free to email her at mahoganyonthereal@gmail.com. 

Who Have We Become?

 What is going on in the minds of today’s society?  Are we as a people so blind that we can’t see that our brothers or sisters are sending out obvious cries for help? Why aren’t we paying attention?  Why does someone have to end up dead before that little light goes off in our heads that signals a problem?  WAKE UP PEOPLE! How many of us are going to have to die before we realize that something has gone terribly wrong?  The level of stress from the hustle and bustle of every day life has taken its toll on all of us and we just don’t know how to cope anymore.  What can we do?  How can we fix this?  We are so consumed with our own lives that we forget to take the time to be concerned with what’s going on around us. 

A friend of mine once told me that she was standing outside a public place where she witnessed a pregnant woman fall and was unable to get up.  Do you know that passerby’s looked on as the lady struggled effortlessly to get up and no took the time to stop and help her?  A police officer had to walk over from the other side of the street to assist the young lady with getting back to her feet.  Do we even care anymore?  The greatest impact that one can make on anyone else’s life is to take the time to care.  How do you think the Columbine, Virginia Tech, Louisiana Tech, and Northern Illinois situations would have turned out if the people who say they were friends and or family of these obviously disturbed attackers have turned out if they had just taken the time care?  People, Satan is a fallen angel who is walking this earth as we speak seeking those whose minds (idle or not) whom he may devour.  We open the door and give him free reign to destroy our lives when we don’t take the time to communicate with one another and share kind words and comforting thoughts.  Several of us (including myself at one point) have been what I call “Down in the Dumps.” The reasons for this are innumerable, and when we are like this, we tend to have “Pity Parties.” That’s when the devil steps in, gets into our minds, and tell us things like we are worthless, nobody likes us, since I don’t have any money I should go steal what I need, or since my brother wronged me I should go kill him.  HELLO! When we lean to FREE OUR MINDS, the rest of our lives will fall into place. Shake that devil off and pack him twenty-four feet (that’s six feet time’s four more) under your feet.  Get involved in the lives of the ones you profess to love.  Ask them about their day, tell them you love them, when they call you needing to bend you ear (even though sometimes we don’t want to be bothered because we have a million and one things to do and we have our own problems) take a minute to listen to what they have to say. You just might be the person who makes a difference in their life.  Wouldn’t you feel very bad if your best friend called you because he or she was having a bad day and wanted you advice on one thing or another and you told him or her that you didn’t have time to talk for whatever reason?  Then later you find out that your friend had slit his or her wrist because they chose not to deal with whatever it was that was bothering them anymore.  I’m devastated just by writing about this and it’s only an example.  All it takes is a little time and love to make a difference in someone else’s life.  We need to learn to stop being so selfish and start lending a helping hand to those we know need it.  Get involved people.  Invite a friend over for drinks and talk about whatever. If you see signs of depression or anything out of the ordinary with anyone that you love, or your next door neighbor, or you classmate, or anyone, get involved.  If we all took one minute, just one, out of each day to care, the world would be just a little bit closer to becoming a better place.  We are responsible for one another whether we believe it or not and whether we like it or not.  We are one nation under GOD, period.  We need to start acting like it because at some point, we will be held accountable.

Mahogany on the Real – Volume 2

February 15, 2008

© 2008 All Rights Reserved

Ten Steps to Getting One Step Closer To Where You Want to Be

 Get to know JESUS! 

The bible says in John 14:6, “I Am the Way, the Truth and the Life.  No One Comes to the Father except through me.”  God has a wonderful purpose and plan for your life.  Each and every one of you are special and has a gift that GOD wants you to use to glorify him.  Read and study the word so that when the enemy comes your way, you will always be prepared to handle him.

Do Unto Others, As You Want Them To Do Unto You! 

Like I said before, you have to give respect in order to get it.  This world and this life doesn’t owe you anything.  When you are kind to others then others will be kind to you. Remember, a horse needs his tail to fan flies more than one day.  If you burn the bridges, you have to cross, when the time comes around for you to cross it again, it may not be there to carry you over. 

Respect Your Elders! 

Whatever happened to yes mam, no mam, yes sir, and no sir.  Would it kill you to show some respect!  They are the people who paved the way for you to get to where you are today.  How dare you treat them with anything less than respect?  Don’t you realize it is because of them that you can say what you want to say and do what you want to do and go where you want to go?  Don’t you realize that if it weren’t for them, you wouldn’t have all the opportunities and rights that you have now?  Show them you love and respect them by just uttering a kind word.  If you see them in the grocery store, offer to help them with their bags.  Help an old lady cross the street.  Help an old man find his way home. A simple hello would brighten their day.  Would it kill you to say it?  Acknowledge them and let them know that they are loved.  And it doesn’t matter if they are related to you or not!

Exercise YOUR Right to VOTE! 

If you don’t like something that is happening in your community, do something about it.  If you don’t like the law, try to do something to change it or make it better.  Mind you, laws are put in place so that the world we live in can have order. Therefore, while you on your bout of trying to change the law make sure that it will be something that will help us and not hurt us.  Use your power to make a difference and let your voice be heard.  If you choose not to vote, then when something happens that you don’t like, don’t complain.

Thou Shalt Not Envy! 

You have no reason to be jealous or envy anyone. Why?  Well, because each individual is a victim of his or her own circumstance. Our lives are structured around the choices we make and whatever those choices are, there is always a way to grow and change.  When we learn better, we do better.  Brothers and sisters, when you see another doing well for themselves, don’t think that they are sellouts and have forgotten where they’ve come from.  Find out what they did to get to their level of success, create your own game plan, and then make the same thing happen for you.  There are endless opportunities out there for those who seek them.

Look The Part! 

Young men, how do you expect to get a job if you go to the interview with your pants wearing saggy jeans that are four sizes too big?  If you don’t know what size clothing you wear, all you have to do is ask the sales associate where you buy your clothes to measure you for an accurate fit.  You make think its cool to wear your clothing like that but think about the long-term effect it has on your life.  Remember, you are the image you portray.  You may be as sweet as pie however, that’s not the way you are stereotyped.  Clean yourselves up!  Keep your hair freshly cut and groomed and your face neatly shaved.  Wear a nice pair of Jeans with a nice polo shirt with matching casual shoes and socks. It doesn’t matter if they are name brand or not.  Who cares?

Young ladies, COVER YOURSELVES!  How do you expect to get a job with your breast popping out of your shirt and your butt cheeks falling from beneath your skirt?  Is that the image you want to portray?  You may be as sweet as apple pie however, what your potential employer will think will be lack there of.   It’s okay to be sexy but be sexy with charisma and style.  Wear things that compliment your figure while leaving something to the imagination.  And stop wearing clothing that you know you have no business wearing at all. (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE).  Now a days, a huge variety of clothing manufacturers make clothing that is appropriate for all shapes, sizes, and figures.  Find out what stores sell the things that compliment your simple yet tactful taste and take advantage. Who cares if it came from Wal-mart or Target?  Stop wearing hairstyles that look like someone created during a fit of mad rage or while they were having a seizure.  Stop wearing exotic colors on your nails and gaudy earrings in your ears.  Suppress that GHETTO mentality and take a dignified step toward your future. 

Get A Job!

If you’ve got time to hang on the corner or sit on your porch all day, then you’ve got time to make a run to the corner store to pick up the classifieds.  Working at McDonalds or Burger King doesn’t make you more or less than an executive for Microsoft.  You work to make an honest living, plain and simple. Its time for us to stop killing and stealing from one another just because we don’t have or we are less fortunate.  Get a job, work hard, and do your best at whatever you do.  It may not be the career you want, but it’s what I call “BUILDING THE FOUNDATION” to get where you want to be. 

Learn How To Speak! 

Enunciate and Articulate! How can you expect people to hear you and take you seriously if they don’t know and understand what you are talking about?     If you don’t know what something means, don’t be afraid to ask.  You’re not stupid because you don’t understand.  Nobody understands everything.  Communication is the key to survival.  Embrace it. 

Stop Thinking That People Are Looking Down On You! 

Nobody is better than you.  You are an individual and are only like yourself.  You have to like yourself before others will like you.  Seek and find your self worth and confidence.  When you find it, use it to your advantage.   You won’t be able to please everyone in life and by no means should you try.  When others seek the confidence you strived to build, don’t retaliate!  Learn that sometimes confrontation is not always the answer.  Learn how to use their hatred to fuel your energy.

Use Your Time And Spend You Money Wisely!

When you have some extra time on your hands, pick up a good book or magazine and READ IT!  Reading is the golden key that unlocks the door to opportunity.  You could take up a productive hobby or a social organization that does positive things in your community. Do something positive and make a difference.

As far as money goes, open a savings account.  Deposit something from each one of your paychecks no matter how small the amount and then leave it there. 

Stop buying everything you want and if you have credit cards, stop maxing them out just because you have the available credit.  If you have bills, develop a budget that will allow you to pay your bills, live comfortably to get out of debt.  Now, I never said that the road would be easy and by no means should you go hungry or without necessities.  Figure out what your needs are vs. your wants, try to live within your means, and do what it takes to survive.

We are the future and there is no future without us.  It’s time to stop pointing the finger at others and start pointing them at ourselves.  Create a positive plan and find a positive way to implement it.  Set some goals for your life.  Start small and work your way up.  Be all you can be. Find yourself before you let others define you.  If you care at all about yourself and the future of your children’s tomorrow you would stop, look, listen, and take heed.

Mahogany on the Real – Volume 1

February 14, 2008

© 2008 All Rights Reserved